Iowa Moron Gets Caught In Disastrous Downpour

It's me...hi! I'm the Iowa moron, it's me...

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Sometimes I feel like my life is like a hilarious and kind of embarrassing sitcom...

I went out for lunch in Cedar Rapids with a friend who works for our company.

All throughout this delicious lunch, I kept staring out of the window watching the storm roll in. I'd alternate between looking at the rain pouring down and my shorts-clad legs. Did I regret putting on my favorite pair of jean shorts or jorts as the kids call them?

Yes, yes I did.

Of course, as my co-worker and I were paying our bill, lightning stuck across the gray sky. We had to get out and get to our cars as fast as we could. The storm seemed to only get worse as we made our way to our parking spots.

After taking maybe five steps, I got hit in the eye with something hard and cold...hail. And it wasn't just ordinary hail; this hail was probably the size of a cotton ball. The rain kept gushing from the sky making it almost impossible to see anything a few feet ahead of me. Not only could I not see, but I was so unfamiliar with where I was, I couldn't remember where I parked my car.

Luckily, my co-worker's vehicle was right in front of us, so we rushed inside. I tried collecting myself and as you can see from the video down below, I did a pretty damn good job of staying calm!

Turns out my car was LITERALLY on the other side of the street from my co-worker's car. So, feeling courageous I grabbed all of my things out of my friend's vehicle and bolted to the other side of the street.

I had to stomp my way through tiny little road rapids and puddles of cigarette butt filled water all the way up to my ankles to FINALLY get to my vehicle.

I was safe! I would be dry again in just moments...but I couldn't find my keys. I thought I felt something drop down my leg as I reached for the driver's side door. After realizing that I somehow dropped my key, I looked at the raging river of water that was going down the road and emptying out into the water drain.

My key had probably just gone down the drain, I thought to myself. I turned to my friend on the other side of the street and explained what happened.

Nearly in tears, I looked all around my car and the water drain. But no luck...

I resigned myself to having to call AAA or something to get a copy of my key made. So, I walked back over to my friend's car...and saw something RIGHT BY HER DRIVER'S SIDE DOOR.

MY KEY.

I snagged it and ran back into my dry car.

Oh! And I almost forgot!

A bus almost hit me...

Here's hoping that I'll be able to air out the shoes I was wearing sometime soon

You can see actual video clips of my actual nightmare come to life down below!