Dude, I mean, the least you could have done while you had the vacuum out was take a lap around the house with it and help clean up a little. Am I right?

The Cedar Rapids Gazette says 28-year-old Christopher Curley is going to jail for ten years, convicted of burglary and the use of a vacuum attachment to beat another man and post it on Facebook. Sucks to be you, dude!

Curley broke into the home of Dominic Tommingo on June 16, 2021, and "severely beat" him with a vacuum cleaner attachment. Tommingo’s nose and right eye socket were fractured and he had a laceration on his head as a result of the beating, but perhaps the lesson for him is to lock the doors AND windows because Curley was able to enter through an unlatched window.

Other than possibly needing a new vacuum, Tommingo also suffered a concussion and post-traumatic stress disorder. To add insult to injury, Curley also stole Tommingo's cell phone.

Again, this all equates to ten years in jail for Curley, but financially, the judge took pity on him, fining him "only" $430 (coincidentally, about the price of a decent new vacuum...hint, hint). In all, that could have been up to $1,370, which I guess is made up for with the $1,125 he also has to pay Tommingo in victim restitution.

Curley's official charges were second-degree burglary and assault causing bodily injury, a serious misdemeanor to which he pled guilty last November. He was originally charged with first-degree robbery, first-degree burglary, and willful injury.

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