This New ‘Sexy’ Halloween Trend Is Definitely NSFW

Halloween gives you the chance to transform yourself. You can be something spooky, something gross or something funny. You could even dress up as something naughty--I'm looking at you, Sexy Nurse, Sexy Teacher, and Sexy Kitten.

Or, you could even go a step (or five) further, and paint your backside to look like a JACK-O-LANTERN. In case you were unaware...this is a real trend. People are painting sparkly, glittery pumpkins on their butts for Halloween. For example:

Okay...I have several issues with this.

#1. Instagram allows THESE butts to be posted online, but not regular butts, which just seems strange.

#2. You probably aren't going to be displaying this in public (other than social media), so it seems like an awful lot of work for a minimal payoff.

#3. Glitter is itchy AF. The pumpkin booty ISN'T cute when you're scratching it all night.

#4. What happens if you fart..or WORSE?

#5. I feel like this would create a major "pH balance" situation, if you get my drift.

#6. Somebody missed a golden opportunity to call them "rumpkins."

As a dude, I love sexy Halloween costumes as much as anybody, but this is a Halloween trend I just can't get behind. Yup, that was a butt joke.

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