Wife ‘Fuming’ After Finding Out Husband Secretly Donated Sperm for Extra Cash
For many families facing financial challenges, donating sperm or eggs seems like a win-win situation that gives back to families who may be struggling to conceive. However, for one man who offered up his sperm for extra cash, his decision to conceal his donation from his wife may have landed him with divorce papers.
The man turned to Reddit to share his story, saying that he and his wife were in their final year at college when he donated his sperm. They have since been married for six years and have children of their own.
"I became a sperm donor when I was in college. I mainly did it just to earn some spare change, and I thought I would be helping people who want children but for whatever reason are struggling," the conflicted husband wrote on the forum.
"I met my wife in my last year. We have been married for about six years," he continued, clarifying: "And I don't donate anymore."
"We have our own children, and everything is [okay], but a couple of years ago, we went through a rough patch, and I donated again to earn some money. I didn't really tell her because I didn't see it as a big deal," he wrote, explaining that he received "about $150" for the donation, just enough to "tide us over for the next week."
"We went on about our business. I forgot about it," the man added.
However, the cat was let out of the bag when the topic of fertility came up during a hangout with friends.
"I brought up that I used to be a donor, and my wife was more shocked than I expected her to be. She looked visibly shaken but moved on quickly," the man continued.
"When we got home, she brought it up again, and I explained the story and how I forgot about [it] over time and didn't see it as a big deal. She got quite upset saying I might have potential children I don't know about."
The man tried to reassure his wife that he doesn't have other children and the only children he has are with her. But she felt betrayed.
"Maybe I should have told her?" I am definitely feeling like a major a--hole right now," he shared.
Now, he and his wife are planning to send their children to their grandparents for a while so they can sort out their next steps.
"I just need to spend the day listening to all her worries and answering all her questions, and she needs to feel heard and validated in her concerns," he wrote.
Should the man have warned his wife that he donated his sperm for cash on numerous occasions?
One fellow Reddit user, who claimed they have been the recipient of sperm donations in the past, said yes.
"As someone who conceived my children with a donor sperm, I do still feel you should have disclosed it. They aren't your children, but a lot of these kids grow up with a curiosity about where they came from," the user wrote.
Another commented: "No one is expecting you to be a parent, but the chances of a kid popping up to say hi over the years aren't zero, and you should have prepared her for that possibility as a courtesy."
Meanwhile, a third Reddit user weighed in with this: "At best you were inconsiderate, at worst you violated her trust... what else are you doing that she considers a big deal, that you aren't sharing? I guarantee that she's been rolling that thought around her head since."