I swear this stuff never happened when I was a kid. Here's "Crappy News" for Monday, February 18th, 2019.

Ft. Myers, FL- Two homeless people were busted for having "adult time" near a children's parade.

Police officer arresting a woman with handcuffs

An off-duty police officer was driving some of the children home when they spotted 58-year-old Phillip Daley and 47-year-old Bernadette Colatarci having sex on a sidewalk.

Cops found the couple lying down on the sidewalk with their genitals exposed and Daley "thrusting his hips." Police say the couple appeared to be intoxicated.

Daley & Colatarci have lengthy criminal records, including a previous arrest for public sex in 2018.

Each has been charged with lewd & lascivious conduct. [FOX 4]

Wednesfield, United Kingdom- Police investigated reports of a bloody hand floating in a canal.

Officers responded to scene and found the hand...which was actually part of a mannequin. The department posted a tweet warning people of, quote, "graphic images of a detached mannequin hand." [UPI]

I mean...if you got close enough...wouldn't you be able to tell that it was a fake hand? Seems like you could've figured this out before calling the cops...

Fulton County, GA- More than two dozen students were hospitalized after eating candy at school on Valentine's Day.

Candy hearts on Valentine's Day

A district official said many students felt nauseated and disoriented, and by Thursday afternoon 28 children had been sent to the hospital.

The statement also said "students and staff were instructed not to eat anything given to them by another person and not to eat anything they didn’t bring from their own home."

The County's health board is trying to determine the cause of the illness, and the food samples are being tested by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

Remember when you were in grade school and you passed valentines around the class? NOTHING bad happened. Why must people have to ruin stuff for everybody else?

Follow Slater on FacebookTwitter and Instagram, and listen live @ Q923.net or with the Q92.3 mobile app!

More From Q98.5