He could've really used some 24K magic. Or...Google. This is "Crappy News" for Tuesday, September 25th, 2018.

Provo, UT- A college football team experienced a mascot malfunction.

New Mexico v Brigham Young University
Getty Images

Brigham Young University was playing McNeese State this past Saturday. During a timeout in the third quarter the BYU cheerleaders performed a tumbling stunt along with the team mascot, Cosmo the Cougar.

Cosmo was doing a flip from a trampoline when his his head flew off and landed on the turf. The mascot alertly covered his face until he was able to reapply the headgear. Shocked fans tweeted about the botched stunt; there were no reports of children being traumatized. [Herald Extra]

That's not a conversation I'd want to have with my kid...

Wareham, MA- A couple got busted for shoplifting clothes...to wear to court.


25-year-old Heather Murphy had a court date last week. Her boyfriend, 33-year-old Jason Willoughby, was accompanying her to court and wanted to make sure they looked good. Sounds smart...until they went to Walmart and STOLE the clothes.

Officers found Murphy & Willoughby leaving the store. According to police, Murphy opened a handbag and began handing back clothes and Willoughby had tried to hide stolen shoes in the waistband of his pants.

The couple was booked for shoplifting. [South Coast Today]

Greenwood, IN- Two friends got into a gun fight...because of Bruno Mars.

2016 American Music Awards - Show
Kevin Winter/Getty Images

A witness told police that he and another man were hanging out with 71-year-old Roger Washburn on Friday night, when an argument broke out about a song and its artist. The friend insisted that Bruno Mars was the one singing the song, Washburn didn't believe it.

Instead of reaching for Shazam...he reached for his gun. Washburn admitted to police that he pistol-whipped the victim with a .38 caliber revolver. The gun went off when Washburn struck the man. The victim said he took a swing at Washburn and missed, and the gun then went off a second time.

Washburn was arrested for battery and criminal recklessness with a deadly weapon. [Indianapolis Star]

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