I know you have to investigate every threat. But once they found out what this was...did they laugh? Here's "Crappy News" for Tuesday, September 18th, 2018.

Doncaster, England- Police pulled over a VERY distracted driver.

Man using cell phone while driving the car

Cops noticed a vehicle driving erratically last week. And after getting to the car they figured out why.

Officers reported the driver having his phone propped up against the dashboard, quote, "streaming a video from the internet of an adult nature." In other words...he was watching porn while driving.

The car was impounded and the driver was reported for several offenses, including having no insurance. [BBC News]

Land O' Lakes, FL- A man was arrested for slicing his neighbor with a chainsaw.


The incident happened September 4 when Jeffrey Zlocki saw Gregory Landaker using a chainsaw to cut shrubs and dispose of branches near his yard. Zlocki believed that the bushes being removed were his and confronted his neighbor.

Landaker resumed cutting the branches, and Zlocki was struck by the blade, causing a deep laceration to his left hand. The victim was taken to the hospital and underwent surgery to repair torn tendons.

Landaker was arrested and charged with aggravated battery and simple battery. [WFLA-TV]

So...when's the moving truck coming?

Iowa City- A local newspaper is at fault for a school canceling classes last week.

Generic school building

A police spokesperson said a 911 call came in at about 7:45 a.m. Thursday. A box was addressed to Elizabeth Tate High School, but it had no return address, no company logo and nothing to clearly display where it had come from.

A school employee noticed the box and called police. The Johnson County Bomb Team X-rayed the package and found that the box was filled with paper products, and police gave the all-clear.

It turns out that the mysterious package was a delivery of college guides from The Gazette. The box was delivered overnight via newspaper carriers, and a letter explaining the contents of the box was placed inside the box instead of outside.

Officers commended the school for taking charge and "making student and staff safety the priority and notifying the police department." [Cedar Rapids Gazette]

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