CRAPPY NEWS – 1/18/17
In today's headlines:
A couple gets hot-and-heavy with their kids in the car, a squirrel costs a man his relationship (and his girlfriend LOTS of money), and a golfer is injured by a speeding toilet...
Gettysburg, PA- A couple was arrested for getting it on in the car...while their kids were still in the backseat.
26-year-old Taylor Skursky and her boyfriend, 28-year-old Torrey Rudisill, took their two children to an outlet mall this weekend. But before going inside, the couple decided to get a little--okay, a lot--frisky, and started doing the dirty IN THE PARKING LOT. IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. AT AN OUTLET MALL.
A passerby saw them and called police. Both were charged with disorderly conduct.
Adding to the embarrassment, Rudisill, who was supposed to be on work-release, was taken back to the county prison. [Penn Live]
Let's hope a third child wasn't created in the process...
Holland, MI- A woman owes her apartment complex $300,000 after her boyfriend accidentally set it on fire.
Back in 2012, the boyfriend tried to cook a dead squirrel...INSIDE THE APARTMENT...WITH A BLOWTORCH. To his surprise, this did not go well. The squirrel caught fire, which spread throughout the apartment and eventually through the entire BUILDING.
The $300K settlement was agreed to after a four-year legal battle with the property manager and the woman's insurance company. [WZZM 13]
Who knew that cooking roadkill indoors with an uncontrolled flame was a bad idea?
Elk Grove Village, IL- A guy is suing an area golf course after suffering an unusual injury.
A maintenance worker at Fox Run Golf Course was taking a port-a-potty in for repairs and had hoisted it onto a forklift. As he was driving the forklift on the course, the worker's view was "obstructed by the portable toilet" and he hit Brian Berg from behind.
Berg was knocked unconscious and sustained bruises, cuts, an injured shoulder, and a cracked rib. He's suing for negligence, claiming Fox Run “uses unsafe means and methods of transporting toilets.” [CBS Chicago]
Duh, everyone knows you're supposed to yell "FORE!!!"
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