In today's headlines:

The "Burger King breakup" is probably a hoax, a stoner loves smoking a bit too much, and a guy definitely won't be getting a recommendation from his boss...

Somewhere on the Internet- A boyfriend got caught the comments of an Instagram photo. A Burger King Instagram photo.

A user named Jordan_VonSmith86 recently left a comment on one of BK's photos saying, quote, "My girl legit took 20 minutes ordering in the drive-thru last night, those Whoppers were worth it though, LOL."

But there was one problem.  His girlfriend saw the comment . . . and she wasn't with him that night. So she commented back, and began tagging her friends in other comments. That led to her eventually ending the convo with "Hope those whopper jr's were worth it. Your s***'s outside." [Mashable]

This has to be fake. No way the stars could align for this to actually happen. But it's still funny. And still a reminder not to do stupid crap on social media. Especially around Valentine's Day.

Wildwood, FL- A man got arrested for cuddling in bed...with his bong.


20-year-old Darren Frasier is on probation for a drug conviction. So, naturally, he decided to keep a low profile by doing drugs.

Sherriff's deputies had been investigating a separate incident in the home when they found Frasier asleep with the drug paraphernalia next to him. He told police that he'd been using the bong to smoke meth. [Villages News]

We all had that friend in high school who loved smoking a LITTLE too much. This is that friend.

Snohomish County, WA- A man accidentally texted his old boss...while looking for help to KILL his wife.


42-year-old Jeffrey Lytle attempted to hire a hit man to take out his wife; he sent a text saying that he'd split the $1.5 MILLION insurance policy 50/50 if he did the job. Lytle even suggested that the hit man take out his FOUR-YEAR-OLD daughter, whose life insurance was worth $500,000.

Lytle's former employer received the texts and immediately called police. Lytle told investigators that he had just been venting his anger after an argument with his wife. Detectives say he told them he kept the message as a draft and his daughter must have accidentally sent the message to his former boss. Lytle was charged with solicitation to commit murder. [Seattle Times]

This guy took "'til death do us part" JUST A TAD too seriously.

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