H-to the Iz-oh, no. This is "Crappy News" for Tuesday, November 20th, 2018.

Tokyo, Japan- A government official admitted to not knowing something (Right? I'm just as surprised as you.)


68-year-old Yoshitaka Sakurada was replying to questions Wednesday when he acknowledged that he's never used a computer.

Sakurada explained to legislators, "I give instructions to my aide and so I don't punch into a computer myself." When asked about the power grid and malware, he implied that he didn't know what a USB port was.

Now, you might be thinking, "So what? He's 68, that isn't that weird." Well, that's fair. Except that Sakurada is Japan's Minister of Cybersecurity.

Making things even more embarrassing, Q&A sessions with Parliament are carried on live TV. So the entire country watched it go down. [ABC News]

Congratulations, Grandma. You're more qualified than this guy.

Moore, OK- A man found naked in the street claims he was kidnapped.

Police say the victim went to a strip club at 3:00 a.m. An hour later, he met up with one of the dancers at a nearby diner.

Emergency vehicle lighting

The pair struck up a conversation with William Trites and Phillip Tullis, who invited them to a storage unit to look at Jeep parts (because THAT'S something you do at 4:00 a.m.)

Trites and Tullis allegedly demanded money from the male victim, before driving him to a remote street, ordering to strip off his clothes, and dropping him off naked. Neighbors spotted the man and called 911.

Police interviewed the dancer, who backed up the guy's story. Authorities said that while crimes were committed, "a lot of horrible decisions led up to him eventually being found naked."

Trites and Tullis are both charged with two counts of kidnapping, and one count of robbery. [KFOR-TV]

Spring Hill, TN- This guy had at least one problem.

Paul Zimmerman/Getty Images
Paul Zimmerman/Getty Images

Davon Eddington was lounging in his backyard, talking to his brother on the phone last week.

A neighbor overheard Eddington's conversation, including the Jay-Z lyrics "I got 99 problems but a b**** ain't one," and called police, believing that there was a domestic disturbance inside the home.

Eddington says cops got to his house and onto his property with guns drawn before they realized it was a misunderstanding. No charges were filed. [PopCrush]

He should be glad he wasn't going 55 in a 54...

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