He probably should've just texted her. This is 'Crappy News' for Wednesday, 10/4/17.

Butler County, OH- A woman was arrested for faking her own abduction.


Thelma Williams (Photo: Butler County [OH] Police Dept.)[/caption]Friends of 38-year-old Thelma Williams called police after seeing videos and photos on Facebook that showed Williams bound and gagged, along with threatening messages.

Officers responded and found Williams at home with her clothes ripped and hands tied behind her back. Police began questioning Williams about her attacker when she broke down and admitted that the kidnapping was just a stunt to get attention.

Williams has been charged with making false alarms. [FOX 19]

Your psyche is so fragile that you FAKED A KIDNAPPING...man, I love social media.

Rock Hill, SC- A woman received a surprise after ordering a yoga mat.


The woman had a package delivered Saturday afternoon. She opened it up and didn't find her yoga mat...but she DID find a huge shipment of illegal drugs.

She provided agents with two bags of about 10,000 pills each. Authorities said the street value for the oxycodone-type narcotics is around $20 per pill. That means the amount of drugs seized could be worth as much as $400,000.

The woman told police that she did not know who had used her name and address. [The State]

Gladstone, Australia- A man was in court last week after his terrible elaborate breakup plan fell through.

30-year-old Michael D. Boulton planned to break up with his girlfriend while they were on vacation together, but knew things would be pretty awkward once they got back.

Relationship problem - couple portrait

So...he paid someone $150 to STEAL her stuff from their house. I guess he thought if there was no trace of her at the house it'd be easier for her to leave.

When the pair returned, all of her items, including her clothes, a laptop, charger, passport and jewelry were gone.

Police quickly figured out the scheme, and Boulton confessed that he staged the robbery because he just wanted her out of his life. He was sentenced to 12 months probation and must pay his ex $866 in damages. [Gladstone Observer]

Even saying "it's not you, it's me" is a better plan than this...

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