The bride threw the bouquet. And threw hands. This is 'Crappy News' for Monday, January 29th.

Abington, MA- A guy was arrested after trying to fight a man...with a fidget spinner.

Latest Toy Craze Fidget Spinners, Wildly Popular With Kids
Getty Images

Jake Sprague and his girlfriend drove to her ex's house last Sunday night. Sprague started yelling for the guy to come out and fight him.

The ex, David McIlvene, obliged, and during the fight, pulled out his fidget spinner...put his fingers through the holes...and used it like BRASS KNUCKLES. McIlvene told police that Sprague had pulled him through the window of Sprague's car and started punching him, which prompted him to use the fidget spinner.

Sprague was arrested for assault and battery, McIlvene was cited for assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. [Brockton Enterprise]

Yes, a fidget spinner is a dangerous weapon. Who knew?

Paris, France- A zoo was put on lockdown after a baboon breakout.


Four baboons escaped from their enclosure at Paris' Zoological Park on Friday. Zoo officials say a total of 60 firefighters, 20 police and all of the zoo's staff mobilized to help capture the primates. None of the baboons reached public areas and the evacuation was ordered as a precaution.

It was initially reported that 52 baboons had escaped, but a zoo spokesperson refuted that number. One baboon came back to its pen, but the other three are still being monitored. The Zoological Park will not reopen until the animals have been returned. [The Local]

Probably a good idea. We wouldn't want any more monkey business.

Eau Claire, WI- A bride walloped a wedding crasher.

25-year-old William Dickinson was drinking with co-workers at a hotel last Friday night when they decided to walk into a wedding reception. Dickinson tried to dance with two 17-year-old girls and an 18-year-old girl, and also tried to grab their butts.


A 14-year-old female confronted him, and Dickinson allegedly pulled her hair, then punched the bride’s father in the face. Dickinson told his pals that wedding guests “were mad at him for dancing with the girls and accused him of being a pedophile.”

Dickinson tried apologizing to the bride...who punched him in the face, leaving a cut below his left eye.

Dickinson faces charges of physical abuse of a child and disorderly conduct, as well as two counts of fourth-degree sexual assault. The bride WASN'T charged for punching him. [The Smoking Gun]

Brides can get a little crazy on their wedding day; this seems justified, though.

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