If that didn't work, she's a lock to win 'Most Popular.' This is "Crappy News" for Thursday, October 4th.

Rochester, NH- Police are on the lookout for Eminem...or at least his doppelganger.

2014 MTV Movie Awards - Show
Getty Images for MTV

Cops posted surveillance images of a suspect in a trespassing case, and he bore a slight resemblance to Slim Shady. So, naturally, the Internet freaked out.

Commenters responded with a slew of Em-inspired wordplay, like "Will the real Slim Shady please fess up", and "Look at him! Just walking around, grabbing his… you know what, flipping the… You know who."

Police later updated to post to say that the suspect had been identified, and that it was not, in fact, Marshall Mathers. [NME]

I wonder if they found him working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings...

Shropshire, United Kingdom- You go to the zoo expecting to see live animals, right?

Swimming Penguins At SeaWorld San Diego
Mike Aguilera/Getty Images

For months The Telford Zoo had been preparing for the arrival of six Humboldt penguins, native to Chile and Peru, to place in their newest exhibit, but the animals cannot be taken from the wild, and must be acquired from other zoos.

However, because of an outbreak of avian malaria, keepers have been told the penguins will not be arriving. So...the zoo was forced to improvise...and stocked the pool with six PLASTIC penguins instead.

Director Scott Adams explained, "we're using the plastic models so children can still see and learn about them until penguins arrive ... It's specially made for penguins, and not really suitable for anything else, so we have no alternative." [Daily Star]

Hartford, MI- This gives "higher learning" a new meaning.

Chocolate brownies

A cheerleader was busted for passing out pot-laced brownies to classmates. Why? To get more votes for Homecoming Queen, duh!

Cops say the "special" snacks were included in goodie bags given to football players. The 17-year-old girl passed out 12 brownies, and police managed to confiscate three of them, which they sent to the state lab for testing.

Charges have yet to be filed, but she could be facing a felony for distributing the brownies in a drug-free zone. [FOX 17]

This is definitely ONE way to get really popular at school. Not a smart way. Not a legal way. But an effective way.

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