Cops Find $2 Million Of Meth Inside Disney Figurines

This Disney story does not have much magic. Here's "Crappy News" for Thursday, April 12th.

Minneapolis, MN- Construction crews made a weird discovery.

Workers were renovating an old department store last week when they found a mummified monkey inside an air duct.

A demolition worker submitted a photo of the dead monkey to the Facebook group "Old Minneapolis" to help come up with ideas as to how the monkey could have gotten there. Many former customers and employees responded with tales of a pet shop on the store's eighth floor and a monkey that went missing in the 1960s.

The freaky find has not affected interest in the new development. [Minnesota Public Radio News]

Buenos Aires, Argentina- A man sought help in a very strange place for a strange problem.

The man walked to a local gas station completely nude with an adult toy stuck in his backside. Because a hospital was too far away, I'm guessing.

Video shows him pacing up and down in front of police officers, shouting and slapping his legs in discomfort. Police eventually took the guy to the hospital. It’s not known how the sex toy became lodged inside him. I COULD PROBABLY FIGURE IT OUT, THOUGH. [Metro]

I'd at least put a bag over my head first.

Gwinnett County, GA- Federal agents found a stash of meth hidden inside kids' toys.

DEA officers confiscated 500 pounds of methamphetamine that had been concealed inside wax figurines of Disney characters, including Donald Duck, Winnie The Pooh and Pluto. Each figure was filled with about one pound of meth.

The shipment was accompanied by a load of legitimate ceramic figures which were meant as a decoy.

The collectibles were shipped from Mexico to Georgia, and agents valued the worth of the drugs at approximately $2 MILLION. The investigation is ongoing. [UPI]

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