Nothing like some rollback romance. This is "Crappy News" for Monday, August 13th, 2018.

Cardiff, Wales- A man found a cheesy way to get back at a former flame.

Cheese wheel

29-year-old Jamie Simmonds broke into his ex-girlfriend's mother's house and stole several items...including a block of cheese. Simmonds was caught after authorities found his DNA of cheese crumbs left behind at the home.

Prosecutors described the "crude and unsophisticated" crime as a revenge attack because Simmonds was not getting the attention he wanted from his former girlfriend. He's been sentenced to 16 months in jail. [BBC News]

Note to self: Bring a mouse with me the next time I plan to steal cheese.

Seminole County, FL- Police got some help...from a herd of cattle.

Dairy Farm

Cops got into a high-speed chase with three people in a stolen SUV last Monday night.

They eventually crashed into a ditch, and two of the people in the car were arrested.  But another passenger tried to get away on foot and ran into a huge field nearby. It seemed like a good idea at the time...until she realized the field was full of angry cows.

Video from a police helicopter shows Kaufman running across the field with about 20 cows closing in on her. And one of them looked like it was about to take her down before chasing her to a fence.

Kaufman and the driver are both facing charges for trespassing, theft, drug possession, and resisting arrest. []

Those cows were really moo-ving.

Mankato, MN- Hey...when the mood strikes, the mood strikes.

Police were called to the Walmart last Saturday night after a report of a couple getting it on in a van in the parking lot.

Walmart To Raise Its Minimum Raise To 11 Dollars An Hour
Getty Images

Officers found 32-year-old Shantell Nei reclined in the driver's seat with her pants down. Also in the van was Shantell's huband, 32-year-old Frank Nei, who was also exposed from the waist down. Oh...and he had been leaning over from the passenger seat performing "oral favors" on his wife.

Here's a twist...Shantell had a court order against her husband banning him from having contact with her. So, maybe they were reconciling? The lovebirds were charged with indecent exposure. And Mr. Nei was charged for violating the protective order. [The Smoking Gun]

You know what they say, there's nowhere in the world more romantic than a Walmart parking lot.

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