Welcome to "Crappy News: Young, Wild Girls" edition. Here are today's top stories:

A girl fakes her death, then emails the local paper about it, a Walmart beer binge ends badly, and a woman shoves a stolen frying pan where NOBODY wants it to be...


Beaver Falls, PA- A fugitive may have just given herself away...thanks to an email.

21-year-old Anastasia Kline has been wanted by police since September for check fraud and forgery. To keep the cops off her trail, she decided to email a FAKE obituary to her local newspaper, saying she had died unexpectedly the day before. But there were a few holes in the story:

1. The newspaper followed up with the coroner's office and area funeral homes and couldn't verify Anastasia's death.

2. Obits cost money, and there wasn't any payment included

3. Anastasia sent the email...from her own account...AND it included her grandmother's phone number.

The fine journalists at the Beaver Falls Tribune turned the info over to police. [KDKA]

In fairness, she's a millennial. She probably has NO IDEA how newspapers work.

Lady Lake, FL- An 18-year-old girl has been arrested after getting drunk at Walmart...then getting a bit too handsy.

Shelby Conder told a store manager that she had taken--and finished--five beers from the cooler and needed a ride home. The manager called the cops, who claim she resisted arrest, kicked an officer while handcuffed, and grabbed a paramedic by the TESTICLES.

She was charged with petty larceny, resisting arrest, and battery of a police officer. But, strangely, NOT underage drinking or public intoxication, which is how this whole thing started in the first place. [ClickOrlando]

St. Louis, MO- A video has gone viral showing a woman shoplifting from IKEA.

28-year-old Sierra Coleman was apprehended by loss prevention officers after she stole a frying pan. It was exactly discreet, either. As Coleman tried to break free, the outline of the pan was visible through her leggings. Probably not the best fashion choice for shoplifting. An IKEA customer captured the incident on Facebook Live (check out the video HERE). She now faces charges of misdemeanor theft and assaulting an officer. [Riverfront Times]

She's definitely in a BUTTLOAD of trouble. She's totally going to FRY for this.

Follow Slater on Twitter and Instagram, and listen live @ Q923.net or with the RadioPup app!

More From Q98.5