Here are today's headlines:

A California man must have REALLY ticked off Mother Nature, a woman tries to pull of the worst counterfeit scheme ever, and a man's love doll helps him fight crime...

Sacramento, CA- A college student had two vehicles crushed by a tree. On the SAME DAY.


28-year-old Gregoriy Karpakin was at Sacramento City College Wednesday when severe winds tore through the area. He saw a tree had fallen onto the roof of his pickup truck. He called a friend to give him a ride home, where he discovered his other car had also been smashed by a tree.

He seems to have a pretty good outlook on things though, saying that he's the luckiest guy...because he's alive AND his insurance will cover all the damages. [Fox 40]

I hope he hasn't seen the movie Final Destination...they'll find you eventually!

Lake City, FL- Usually counterfeiters are pretty smart. Emphasis on "usually."

30-year-old Brandi Hardin was caught trying to spend fake $20 bills at Walmart.

Pile of Twenty Dollar Bills

The checker noticed that the money was simply photocopied bills, and Hardin fled the store when confronted. That COULD have been the end of the story, except Hardin tried the same thing at Applebee's just two days later! Making matters worse, she also left her cell phone behind.

Police tracked her down at a nearby motel and found hundreds of bogus bills along with blank paper, a printer, marijuana and drug paraphernalia. [Gainesville Sun]

What an REAL counterfeiters a bad name.

West Sussex, U.K.- A man's loneliness likely saved him from losing thousands of dollars.

Image Source Pink
Image Source Pink

A cartoonist named Derrick Thompson also owns a small art shop. Burglars broke into the shop a few weeks ago, but quickly fled because they saw a person already in the store.

Turns out, the "person" was actually Derrick's six-foot-tall mannequin. The mannequin, who Derrick has named "Shela," is so lifelike that the thieves freaked out and fled. [Mirror]

Thompson insists "Shela" is a mannequin girlfriend and NOT a sex doll, though I'm not exactly sure which is worse. At least he can say he's dating a crime fighter.

Get your daily dose of dumb every weekday at 8:15! #CrappyNewsWithHappyMusic

Follow Slater on Twitter and Instagram, and listen live @ or with the RadioPup app!

More From Q98.5