Today's stories are all about extremes:

A bank exec goes out of his way to prevent his arrest from being published, a woman is REALLY unhappy with her engagement ring, and a college student sells her bodily fluids online to pay for to school...

Wayne County, NY- A Bank Vice President was arrested for DWI last week, and desperately tried to cover it up.

Because of his high-profile job, 43-year-old Joseph Talbot didn't want friends and family to see his mugshot or the police he bought 1,000 copies of his town's local newspaper! Reports say Talbot visited at least eight locations and spent about $1100 to purchase the papers.

Ironically, word got out about it, and now his story is in newspapers across the country instead of just his tiny county. And, he was hit with an additional charge of obstructing governmental administration. [New York Upstate]

Even worse, now you've got bozos like ME talking about it on the radio...


Fernandina Beach, FL- A woman assaulted her fiance with a wooden plank because she didn't like her engagement ring.

25-year-old Enrevie Bendejo was arguing with her hubby-to-be about the ring and hated it so much she threatened to leave him. She then picked up a 2x4 off the front porch and began beating him with it! Bendejo also bit her fiance on the arm and punched him in the face.

She's in jail for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. [CBS 47 Jacksonville]

I'm not sure if the engagement is still on, but he may want to find a wife WITHOUT homicidal tendencies. Just an idea.

Jacksonville, FL- A college student found a--creative--way to help pay her tuition...she's selling her pee on Craigslist!

The woman, who wisely hasn't revealed her name, was looking for a job she could do while she was pregnant, so she published an ad selling her positive pregnancy tests for $25 apiece. She posted: "Very self explanatory I am 3 months [pregnant] and I am providing a product in which the consumer is able to purchase positive pregnancy tests or urine for your own use ... Whether you are using it for your own amusement...or to blackmail...I DON'T CARE AT ALL!"

The woman claims that she was making about $200 PER DAY. [Refinery 29 / CBS 47 Jacksonville]

How did the Kardashians not think of this first???

Get your daily dose of dumb every weekday at 8:15! #CrappyNewsWithHappyMusic

Follow Slater on Twitter and Instagram, and listen live @ or with the RadioPup app!

More From Q98.5