Did he seriously think the cop wasn't going to see this? Here's "Crappy News" for Thursday, July 12th.

Miami, FL- A man got stabbed while on a trip...and that's not even the strange part of the story.

Black scissors stick into position

22-year-old Cesar Coronado was vacationing in Miami Beach this week. Tuesday night, he and a friend had a confrontation with 46-year-old Jonathan Crenshaw. At one point Crenshaw grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed Coronado twice in the arm.

Crenshaw told police that he was defending himself after Coronado had punched him in the head. Coronado's friend claimed they were just asking Crenshaw for directions when he jumped up and attacked the victim.

But here's the twist...Crenshaw is ARMLESS. He allegedly grabbed the scissors with his feet, stabbed the victim, then used his toes to put the shears back in his waistband. Coronado was taken to the hospital and Crenshaw was taken to jail. [Miami Herald]

I'm glad this guy's ok...but imagine explaining to your friends that you got stabbed by someone who didn't have arms.

Kirkwood, MO- An exotic car went up in flames...thanks to a minivan.


The incident happened Saturday night when two expensive sports cars were stopped at a gas station.

Parker Gelber's red Lamborghini Performante was at a pump when his friend, driving a blue Lamborghini Huracan, parked behind him. A minivan on the opposite side of the blue Lamborghini pulled away--with the pump still in the gas tank. The pump sprayed fuel into the engine bay of the Huracan and the car ignited.

Gelber shared pictures of the fire, as well as a cell phone video taken by a witness. There were no injuries, but the $400,000 Huracan was completely destroyed. [FOX 2 - St. Louis]

That must have been a VERY fun call to the insurance company...

Greensburg, PA- A suspect made it very easy for police to find him.

Cheerful young hipster is wearing a tie

35-year-old Chad Stitch was riding in a car that was pulled over Wednesday night after it was suspected to be involved in a drug deal.

The passenger identified himself as “Chad Majors,” but the officer called his bluff, because the evidence was right in front of him. First, the cop had previously arrested Stitch several years earlier. Second, "Stitch" was tattooed on the left side of his neck.

Police seized about 40 bags of what they believed to be heroin, as well as 23 Ecstasy tablets, marijuana and a small amount of cash. Stitch was charged with an assortment of drug offenses...and false identification. [TribLive.com]

Life hack: Try fooling police by tattooing somebody else's name on your neck.

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