Not the way I'd like to make a splash. This is "Crappy News" for Tuesday, June 26th.

Chelsea, England- A woman is suing a luxury dating service...because she's still single.

view in a poor mans wallet with some copper coins

46-year-old Tereza Burki was looking for a wealthy husband, so she contacted an agency known as Seventy Thirty Ltd, which claims to be the "ultimate network of influential and exceptional single people."

However, Burki was dissatisfied with the results, so she's suing the agency for return of the £12,600 membership fee she paid and additional damages for "distress, disappointment and frustration."

Seventy Thirty is counter-suing, claiming that Burki's negative reviews have cost them clients. [Metro]

Palm Bay, FL- An Elvis impersonator was busted for trying to meet an underage girl.

Lookalikes Participate In The European Elvis Championships
Christopher Furlong/Getty Images

64-year-old Paul Amato responded to an online ad in March that was posted by an undercover agent. According to police, Amato thought he was contacting the father of a 13-year-old girl who was offering her up for sex.

Amato allegedly described in detail what he wanted to do to the girl and told the officer he wanted to wear his Elvis costume while doing it. The agent, posing as the girl's father, met Amato at a shopping center, where police were waiting. Amato was in his Elvis garb at the time of the arrest. []

At least he'll have a lot of time to rehearse "Jailhouse Rock."

Iowa City- A man chose an unusual time to go for a swim.


Police were called early Sunday morning after a witness reported a man jumping off the Burlington Street bridge into the Iowa River.

20-year-old Patrick Sandoval was found at the intersection of Riverside Drive and Benton Street soaking wet wearing only his boxers. Cops also found Sandoval's shoes, clothes, debit card and cell phone next to a tricycle that was taken from the Iowa City downtown block party.

Sandoval's blood alcohol concentration was .168, more than double the legal limit. He was charged public intoxication and has been released from jail. [CBS 2]

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