This is "Crappy News" for Wednesday, May 30th.

New Orleans, LA- A televangelist is trying to take his mission to new heights.


In a video posted to his website last week, Jesse Duplantis asked his followers to help raise money for a $54 MILLION private plane, noting that God told him he should have a jet -- but not pay for it.

Duplantis said in the video, quote, "I really believe that if the Lord Jesus Christ was physically on the Earth today, he wouldn't be riding a donkey. He'd be in an airplane flying all over the world."

Duplantis also said that the Falcon 7X would allow the ministry to fly anywhere in the world to spread the gospel. [CBS News]

Sandusky, OH- Amusement park patrons had some of the fun taken out of their day.

Roller Coaster in Santa Cruz California
Ingram Publishing

World-renowned Cedar Point lost power on Memorial Day after a car struck a utility pole near the park.

About 1/3 of the park's rides shut down because of the outage, which meant some guests were stranded on rides for up to two 90-degree heat.

A park spokesman apologized for the incident and said those at Cedar Point on Monday can return for free any day through Labor Day with proof of ticket purchase. [Toledo Blade]

My mom would FREAK. She can't even go on a Ferris wheel.

New Delhi, India- A man found himself in some pretty hot water.

Water - Photo Illustrations
Getty Images

There's a new report in the British Medical Journal about a 26-year-old guy who recently went to the hospital with a six-inch handheld SHOWER HEAD stuck in a very--intimate--place.

The man "accidentally" got the shower head lodged in his rectum, and had to detach the PVC pipe connecting the device to the wall before heading to the hospital.

X-rays showed the shower head was about six inches deep into the man's pelvis, but luckily had not caused any internal injuries. He was released from the hospital about 48 hours later. [The Sun]

It's hysterical to me that men will get something stuck up their butt and pretend like they have NO IDEA how it got there. It always cracks me up. Yep, that was a butt joke.

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