Shockingly, he didn't make it very far. This is "Crappy News" for Wednesday, May 9th.

Democratic Republic of Congo- Authorities just found a secret DIAMOND MINE underneath their prison.

Loose diamonds on black surface

Prisoners, officers and local residents had been working in the mine to extract diamonds--with some inmates not leaving the prison even after their sentences were completed.

In total, more than 30 people were found digging. Some testified that they found and sold diamonds of 0.1 and 0.15 grams, or between 0.5 and 0.75 carats.

The government is planning to shut down the mine and they say anyone who worked there will be punished...although I'm thinking they might send them to a different, less lucrative prison. [Metro]

Columbus, IN- A golf coach has found himself in the rough.

Police pulled over a car for a traffic violation early Tuesday. The suspect, Benjamin Beatty, resisted arrest and was detained at the scene.


Investigators found methamphetamine, heroin and drug paraphernalia inside the car.

Police searched Beatty's house as well as a motel room he had rented and found additional meth and heroin, along with a stash of marijuana. Cops also confiscated syringes, drug paraphernalia, packaging materials, and counterfeit money.

He was arrested on multiple charges of drug possession and trafficking, as well as resisting arrest and counterfeiting. Prior to his arrest, Beatty served as the varsity golf coach at a nearby high school. [WTTV 4 - Indianapolis]

He's probably wishing for a mulligan right about now.

Sioux City, IA- A 12-year-old was arrested following a slow-speed chase.

City of Sioux City Police Dept. via Facebook
City of Sioux City Police Dept. via Facebook

The runaway boy led police on a pursuit Thursday evening...while driving a stolen Bobcat skid loader.

According to Sioux City PD's Facebook page, a patrol car was damaged when the boy ran the skid loader into it. He was eventually taken into custody after getting the construction vehicle stuck in a muddy area, and he was brought to a juvenile detention center.

Nobody was injured and the boy's name is being withheld due to his age. [Sioux City Journal]

His friends probably think he's so cool. His parents? Not so much.

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