I can't really say I blame him. This is "Crappy News" for Thursday, January 10th, 2019.

Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic- A couple's sex games went A BIT too far.

Air freshener

A 40-year-old man was rushed to the hospital after a full-size can of air freshener wound up in his rectum.

The man's wife told doctors that she inserted the spray can into his butt at his request while they were making love.

Medical staff was able to remove the can--from his can--after a two-hour operation.

Health officials warn that introducing objects into the body for sexual gratification is a potentially dangerous practice that could affect someone's health and long-term sex life. [The Sun]

Sarasota, FL- This seems like a COMPETELY normal way to handle an issue at work.

Vector illustration of a shit icon or poop icon isolated on white background
Getty Images/iStockphoto

42-year-old Heather Carpenter serves as a substitute elementary school teacher. She apparently had a "professional" issue with the school's principal, Allison Foster, and decided to do something about it.

Carpenter found out that there was a birthday party for Foster's daughter at a nearby park. So Carpenter went there earlier in the day . . . and smeared FECES all over the picnic tables and the grill.

We don't know for sure WHOSE poop it was, but you'd have to assume it was Heather's personal blend.

All told, the damage to the park totaled more than $2,300. Carpenter has pleaded not guilty to charges of damaging property and criminal mischief. [Sarasota Herald-Tribune]

Panora, IA- A man found out his life-threatening diagnosis was wrong.

medical information

Court documents show that Dr. Joy Trueblood admitted to misdiagnosing Rickie Lee Huitt, leading him to believe he had only five years to live.

Huitt and another patient each had prostate biopsies scheduled for that day, and a "scanner glitch" caused a mix up with the files. Because of this, doctors told Huitt that he needed surgery to remove his prostate.

Thinking it would save his life, Huitt went through with the operation. However, after the removed prostate was sent to the Mayo Clinic for further testing, no cancer was found (which means the guy that DID have cancer was told he DIDN'T).

It's unclear how much money Huitt is seeking...but he should probably get all of it. [KCCI.com]

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