Man Beats Up Golden Arches After McDonald’s Refuses To Make His Food

Sometimes those hunger pangs get the better of you. This is "Crappy News" for Tuesday, March 27th.

Bronx, NY- A man's celebration was very short-lived.

30-year-old Saul Vellegas received a $96,000 settlement following a car accident. And he decided to celebrate his big payday...by spending the money on prostitutes.

Vellegas, carrying ALL of the money in a suitcase, checked into a motel late Sunday night and hired three hookers. After they had sex, the women pitched the idea that a few friends of theirs come by and keep the party going. Well...those "friends" turned out to be two dudes who busted into the room with guns and stole the suitcase of cash.

Police released photos of both the suspected gunmen and the three women. [New York Post]

It's almost as though hookers care about money. Weird, I know.

Torrevieja, Spain- A hotel guest experienced some -- intimate -- embarrassment.

The man, in his 60s or 70s, was sitting down nude in his hotel room prior to taking a shower. He tried to stand up and found his testicles had dropped through slats in the plastic folding chair.

Adding insult to injury, the man's manhood got stuck and he had to call for help. Emergency crews had to cut away some of the slats in order to free the victim. He was eventually able to stand and was taken to the hospital as a precaution. [Daily Mail]

Just another of the many perks that come with getting older. Ouch.

Sutherlin, OR- A man's cravings wound up leading him to jail.

37-year-old Jedediah Fulton lashed out after ordering 30 double cheeseburgers from McDonald's Friday night. For whatever reason, they refused to make the order.

Fulton was so angry that he destroyed a banner...and started assaulting McDonald's famed Golden Arches. Fulton also grabbed a bystander who tried to confront him.

He was arrested on charges of disorderly conduct, criminal trespass, criminal mischief and harassment. [News-Review]

The customer is always right...right? Apparently not.

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