I almost made it a full week without one of these stories. That has to be a record. This is "Crappy News" for Wednesday, March 14.

Mankato, MN- A man helped himself to a late-night snack...after breaking into a stranger's house.


21-year-old Bradley Madden entered the home early Saturday morning. He found his way into the kitchen and cooked himself chicken nuggets and drank something from the refrigerator.

The homeowner confronted Madden and called 911. Police performed a breath alcohol test, and Madden blew a .10, just above the legal limit. However, cops said that he "did not appear to be intoxicated to the point of not being able to make conscious decisions."

Madden was arrested for felony burglary. [The Smoking Gun]

Cascade, MD- A former zoo employee has been charged with taking venomous snakes and keeping them at his home.

King Cobra Snake

28-year-old Brandon J. Boyles was arrested after a raid of his apartment turned up six Western Diamondback Rattlesnakes, a seven-foot Forest Cobra, one Cape Coral cobra and two Boomslangs. Each of the snakes are capable of administering deadly bites to humans.

Boyles left his job at Catoctin Zoo & Wildlife Preserve back in September and had been keeping a large number of reptiles housed in unsecured plastic bins that could have allowed them to escape.

Boyles is accused of 13 counts of illegal possession of venomous snakes, nine counts of animal cruelty and one count of reckless endangerment. His court date is in May. [UPI]

Kaohsiung, Taiwan- A man needed to surgery to remove a SEVEN-INCH adult toy from his urethra.

Doctors looking at x-rays

The patient claimed he was pleasuring himself when he accidentally inserted the device into his bladder.

Surgeons used an endoscope to remove the toy, which had already caused inflammation and blood in his urine. Doctors said the plastic rod measured 20cm (7.87 in) long and 1cm (0.39 inches) wide.

The hospital said it had received similar cases in the past, removing items such as ballpoint pens and cables from up men's penises. [The Mirror]

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