He HAD to know they wouldn't honor this, right?! Here's "Crappy News" for Monday, January 7th, 2019.

Brandon, FL- Officers were called to a Waffle House to wrangle a reptile.

Alligator in Lake Charles, La.
Big Boy Chill

Police responded to a report of a five-foot gator loitering outside the restaurant on New Year's Eve.

A newspaper reporter captured video of cops--well, capturing--the alligator with a crowd looking on. Police tried to toss blankets (Was the gator smothered? Covered?) over the gator's head in order to blindfold and subdue it.

Cops were eventually able to get onto the gator's back, tape its jaw and legs together and then load it into the back of a cruiser. [Tampa Bay Times]

In fairness...I, too, have spent many evenings loitering outside of Waffle House.

Putnam County, IN-

Photo: Indiana State Police
Photo: Indiana State Police

An Indiana State Trooper pulled over an SUV on Friday after it was following another vehicle too closely. The officer suspected something was up so he called a K-9 unit for backup.

The dog detected the smell of drugs, and troopers found what they suspected to be methamphetamine in 14 individually vacuum sealed plastic bags. Police estimated the value of the meth at about $30,000.

23-year-old Brooklyn Wagner & 26-year-old Kortinee Gleen were arrested and charged with dealing and possession of methamphetamine. [Indianapolis Star]

Wood Village, OR- This guy did NOT have it his way...

Burger King Beats Expectations With Rising Q2 Profits
Getty Images

50-year-old Curtis Brooner got stuck in a Burger King bathroom on December 15th. He was finally able to get free after about an hour, after which a restaurant manager apologized and made Brooner a verbal promise that he could always eat there for free.

He took BK up on the offer, eating there for the next 13 days, except for Christmas Eve & Day. When we went back on December 28th, Brooner was told that "district management" revoked the free food offer.

Brooner has filed a lawsuit against BK seeking $9,026, the estimated cost of a Whopper meal a week for the next 22 years. He also claims that he was humiliated by the bathroom incident and that the restaurant was negligent in not fixing it. [The Comeback]

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