If this is too complicated, perhaps thievery isn't for you. This is "Crappy News" for Tuesday, March 13th.

Haitang Bay, China- A blogger was arrested after her--interesting--offer went viral.

Online judgement. Gavel on laptop. 3d

19-year-old Ye Mouyi posted a message on a social media site inviting men for free sex...and listing her hotel room number. Reports say that as many as 3,000 people either rang or showed up at the hotel to accept her offer.

Hotel staff called the police to file an official complaint--but when authorities arrived, Mouyi had already checked out and disappeared.

Police said she was found at the airport the next day and arrested on prostitution charges. Mouyi admitted to police that she made the post to gain followers. She was sentenced to 15 days in jail and her social media accounts have been suspended. [News.com.au]

Honestly, being banned online is probably more devastating for her.

Los Angeles, CA- A man was arrested after using a fake FBI badge to sneak into jail.

L.A. County Sheriff's Office
L.A. County Sheriff's Office

28-year-old Greg Baghoomian entered the lobby of the inmate reception center and quickly flashed a badge in an attempt to get inside. When deputies stopped him to check his credentials, Baghoomian ran out of the building toward the Jail facility across the street.

Along with Baghoomian's false FBI credential, authorities found gloves, a knife, and two Taser devices. He was arrested on suspicion of bringing a deadly weapon inside a jail facility and impersonating a peace officer, and then transported to the very facility he tried to enter. [KTLA]

Sacramento, CA- A thief broke into an animal shelter to steal...a gumball machine.

The man was caught on video entering the shelter through a doggy door. He grabs the gumball machine and immediately started having issues.

Getty Images/iStockphoto

First, the top of the machine fell off. Second, he attempted to use the machine as a battering ram, causing most of the gumballs to fall out. Third, the crook didn't realize that the machine was too large to fit through the door. Finally, the bumbling burglar SLIPPED on the loose gumballs.

Even better, the disgruntled suspect scooped up a handful of quarters from the machine...but failed to notice the donation box FULL OF CASH that was only a few feet away.

The animal shelter posted video of the ordeal on their Facebook page, along with some hilarious captions, and the hashtag #SacramentosDumbestCriminals. Cops are still trying to identify the suspect. [Sacramento Bee]

Not exactly the heist of the century.

Follow Slater on FacebookTwitter and Instagram, and listen live @ Q923.net or with the NEW Q92.3 mobile app!

More From Q98.5