I'm pretty sure we've all done this. Check out "Crappy News" for Friday, August 24th, 2018.

Shreveport, LA- A woman got divorced. Without realizing it.

Divorce Decree

27-year-old Demario Clark didn't want to be married to his wife anymore and decided to file for divorce. One SMALL problem...he failed to actually tell his wife about it.

Clark's wife discovered documents showing that divorce paperwork between her and her husband had been filed and granted. As it turns out, Clark's new flame, 50-year-old Lisa McKinney, had posed as his wife at the county clerk's office.

Evidence was discovered showing Clark and McKinney had the papers drawn up and McKinney's daughter forged Mrs. Clark’s signature, making the proceedings official. McKinney and her daughter were each charged with forgery; Clark was arrested for filing a false public record. [Shreveport Times]

This is one hell of a way to find out your marriage is over.

Calabasas, CA- A lawyer was arrested after driving drunk an colliding with a well-known radio DJ.

Gavel, Alcoholic Drink & Car Keys

Kurt "Big Boy" Alexander is a nationally-syndicated radio host based in L.A. He was riding in an SUV Tuesday when the car was rear-ended by a BMW. The driver of the BMW was identified as Michael Pettersen, a longtime attorney with the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office.

Video from the scene shows a clearly woozy Pettersen taking rips from a bottle of liquor in the driver’s seat while Alexander and his party were standing on the side of the road.

Pettersen was arrested for felony DUI...and I'm guessing he'll have to update his résumé. [CBS Los Angeles]

Even worse, you hit a DJ. You just gave him a week's worth of show prep.

Vancouver, Canada- A runner got disqualified for NOT drinking enough.

Corey Bellemore set a world record time in this year's Beer Mile World Classic, finishing in an incredible 4:33.


Race officials measured the remaining liquid in the cans and bottles of the 20 competitors and found that three runners, including Bellemore, had more than the permitted amount left over.

As a result, Bellemore was DQed his winning time was wiped out, and British runner Dale Clutterbuck was named the winner, with an official time of 4:50.7 seconds.

A "traditional" beer mile consists of four laps around a track, each preceded by the consumption of a 12-ounce can or bottle of beer of at least 5% alcohol--so, sorry, no Busch Light. [Runner's World]

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