I don't know if counseling could save things after this. Here's "Crappy News" for Tuesday, May 1st.

Melbourne, Australia- A library was cleared out...because of rotten fruit.

Tour de Singkarak
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Nearly 500 students and teachers had to be evacuated from the library at Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology on Saturday after a report of a possible gas leak.

Firefighters identified the smell was not chemical gas, but gas generated from a durian fruit which had been left rotting in a cupboard. The durian is recognized as the smelliest fruit in the world. The fire department said the odor had traveled throughout the building via the library's air conditioning system. [The Age]

Either the person who left it there didn't know how bad it smells...or totally knew how bad it smells.

Sonoma County, CA- A guy really didn't plan his prison break very well.

22-year-old Mark Schwartz was sentenced to four days in jail after getting a DUI. Apparently, he couldn't take being on the inside that long.

Prison Hands 2

Friday night--TWO DAYS into his sentence--Schwartz ran through the prison yard, scaled a razor wire fence, and dropped down to freedom...for a total of 38 minutes.

A witness reported a man running through tall grass in a nearby field. More than 20 officers, a police helicopter and a K-9 unit joined the search for Schwartz, and he was found in a nearby creek.

Schwartz was treated for cuts at the hospital before being sent BACK to jail. Now he faces up to a year in prison for felony escape. [SF Chronicle]

But look at the bright side--he has another 182 tries to get free.

Tavares, FL- A woman was arrested after a drunken fight with her husband.


57-year-old Brenda Allen was home with her husband Monday night, naked, and getting drunk. At some point they got in an argument and Brenda escalated the situation...by trying to rip out her husband's CATHETER.

His doctor must have done a great job installing it, because she couldn't pull it out. She then chased him out of the house into the front yard--and yes, they were both still naked.

Both of them tripped and fell, which gave Mr. Allen time to call 911. The cops arrested Mrs. Allen for simple battery. [WTF Florida]

Haters gonna hate. Florida gonna Florida.

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