Yeah...probably not enough disinfectant in the world to clean that up. This is 'Crappy News' for Thursday, March 1st.

Paisley, FL- A woman beat up her boyfriend for checking on dinner while they were getting it on.

Cooking morel mushrooms
JackVandenHeuvel - Thinkstock

51-year-old Teresa Warren told police that her boyfriend had randomly attacked her...but he had a slightly different story. He said they were drinking and watching NASCAR on Sunday when they began having sex. Some time during the festivities he remembered that he'd started cooking.

He didn’t want the food to burn so he took a little break to check on it. Warren got upset, smashed a TV onto the floor, and punched him in the head, face, stomach and legs. The boyfriend then shoved her, which left a palmprint on her cheek. Warren took off in her boyfriend's car.

She was found at a convenience store by police and arrested for misdemeanor battery. []

Beer, NASCAR, sex. Could there be a more "Florida" story?

Luzerne County, PA- Cops responded to a report of a robbery. A meatball robbery.

pasta with meatballs and parsley

Police say a man called 911 Monday afternoon and reported that a pot of meatballs was stolen from inside his garage. The cops found the pot in the street, but the meatballs were still missing.

They then spotted 48-year-old Leahman Potter, and suspected he might be the culprit...because he had red sauce all over his FACE and clothes.

Potter was charged with burglary & criminal trespass. [CBS 21 - Harrisburg]

When you're 48 years old and eat like you're three years old, stuff like this is bound to happen.

Paradise Valley, AZ- A couple withdrew their offer on a house after discovering some dirty details.


Linda Fein and her husband recently made a $1.8 MILLION offer on a spectacular 4,100-square-foot home. And her real estate agent casually mentioned that the sellers were in the entertainment industry. And by "entertainment industry," he definitely meant "porn."

Turns out, the owners, Kevin and Sandra Otterson, run a XXX website called Wifey's World, and used the house to stage pornographic scenes for the site.

Mrs. Fein was stunned that the agent didn't disclose the tawdry technicalities and pulled their offer. She said "I just can't make Thanksgiving dinner on counters where a porn star has been lounging around." [Arizona Republic]

Of all the reasons to pull out...

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