At this point, couples therapy probably isn't an option. This is "Crappy News" for Wednesday, April 25th.

North Yorkshire, U.K.- A man is in jail after telling the police they were #1.

Sports Car Passing a Static Speed Camera

67-year-old Timothy Hill was photographed giving the middle finger to police speed cameras on three separate occasions last December. Officers also noticed a police jammer inside Hill's SUV.

Hill was interviewed by police and initially lied about where the vehicle was and tried to destroy the jammer, but later admitted he had fitted the device to his car. On Monday, Hill was sentenced to eight months in jail for "perverting the course of justice." He's also been banned from driving for one year. [North Yorkshire Police]

Just another reason to hate speed cameras. Seriously...does ANYONE like them?

Tulsa, OK- A couple was arrested after getting high and strolling through a mall...totally nude.

Person rolling joint, close-up of hands and bag of marijuana
Doug Menuez -- Thinkstock

Police received several calls about the couple's adventure because:

1.  They both got out of their car naked.

2.  They went into a mall and started running around.

3.  And the guy had their pet pit bull on his shoulders.

When the cops got to the mall, they found the couple hugging each in a department store. They attempted to run from police, but the man ran into a display and cut his arm. Officers followed the blood trail and took him into custody.

The pair admitted they'd taken marijuana and dipped it into a cup of PCP. They could face charges for indecent exposure, vandalism, and public intoxication. []

Hey, the couple that plays together stays together. Unless...

Cordoba, Argentina- A man showed his sex tape to friends...and probably regrets that decision now.


26-year-old Brenda Barattini found out that her 40-year-old boyfriend showed his buddies their homemade sex tape. And she did NOT handle it well.

Barattini exacted revenge by CHOPPING OFF his junk with a pair of pruning shears. The attack left him with almost 90% of his manhood completely severed. Making things (somehow) even worse...the hospital was unable to re-attach it, and the man is still waiting for future operations.

Barattini is in prison without bail while she awaits trial. She said in a jailhouse interview that she suffered great psychological harm because of the leaked tape. [New York Post]

I'm pretty sure his PHYSICAL pain is worse. Take my word for it.

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